I think every tuesday night is depression night? LOL. Must be the effect of WOW server maintenance. Then again, it gives me time to start thinking about stuff. Too much time infact. I don't wanna think about stuff cos it makes me sad.
Tmr will be a week since we last met. Well, we're not gonna meet this week i guess. Unless he drops a surprise for me. And no smses either. Bleah. I dunno what's he thinking about. We need to talk more. Lol. Sometimes i feel as if i'm being taken for a ride. Anyway, just sent him an sms. Didn't want to in the first place. I feel so indignant that he doesn't bother to sms me. :( Anyway, i was talking to my friend, and he said that why bother with anything since everything's pre-destined. Then i said that fate is up to us to change. And i'm sure if we take control of out lives things can change.
Oh.. It's been a long time since i've posted and my friends were commenting that i only blog when i'm feeling down/depressed. Yeah.. Something great happened. I finally picked up the courage and asked him whether he likes me.
We were meeting for a movie last wednesday but, i was feeling depressed over the mixed signals (i thought) he gave me over the past week. On tuesday night, i was really feeling terrible since we're gonna meet the next day. (I've bought the tickets nevertheless.) So i blogged all that shit in the post below. Then on wednesday morning, i felt so bad until i even thought of skipping that movie (by cooking up some excuse) and played WOW the whole day. I was feeling emo, and i spammed that in my guild channel that i need some emotional support. Then this nice guy from Australia, he came and comforted me. (He thought i was female cos i played a female toon.) He started telling me about his story and stuff, and gave me advice and emotional support the entire afternoon. Then I received a sms from him telling me that he could meet me earlier, like at 5. However, I was deep in game and feeling quite upset about the whole issue so i kinda ignored it until the last moment and said 5.30. Exchanged a few smses in a very short and cold way. (Anyone who gets my smses should know that i type a whole lot of crap in it, so you can imagine how my cold and short smses would be like.) Anyway, we met and walked around, had dinner and the movie. After the movie, it was kinda late so he had to go so we walked to the bus stop. All the while i was considering to ask him the question.. So i finally picked up the courage (and beating around the bush) to ask him whether he liked me.. And he said yes, after that i think we got shy then we switched topic to some dancer in the youth park which was male but we thought he was a she while crossing the road. After he got on the bus, he sent me a sms, the very first sms he sent to me out of his own volition.
Then again, after that sms, I never received another sms out of his own free will again. Of cos i don't expect everyone to be like
colin and kero, but i don't even feel that he cares about me.. Oh well, we can't have our pie and eat it, can we? We gotta learn that everyone is different and has different needs and behaviours. I just gotta adapt. Probably we could talk more about our expectations when we meet again. This is just to let off steam and rant. He probably doesn't know about this blog (hopefully not) cos i dun want him to know i'm a very emo person. He might get frightened off. =p
Ahh... It's been 1 and a half weeks. Tmr will be the 3rd time in 1 and a half weeks if we meet. Bought tickets for the 'Da Vinci Code' just now for tmr at 7.55pm Cineleisure. Dunno whether he will come or not. Heh. No reply yet. Oh well, probably i'll just trash the tix or get someone else to go with me i guess. Suddenly i feel depressed. I need some company. Someone i can talk to, someone i feel comfortable with. Definitely not my mom. She's sitting behind me mugging for some history exam now. I feel so uncomfortable with her around. Not that i'm afraid of her finding out i'm gay but how will her reaction will be. Sad, disappointed, hysterical? I dunno. Therefore i feel so restricted around her (and any family members around for that matter). I think i'll be suicidal come july. All my close friends are leaving for overseas. I've no one else around for me anymore. Who will i look for to talk to when i'm depressed? Even if they can't help, at least someone's there to console me, drink with me, accompany me. Who's gonna take over? I absolutely detest the scene now. I hate them. Sigh. Sometimes i hate myself too. Why am i even gay!!?? LOL. Someone up there's playing a trick on us, i swear. There's so much hate in me now, so much doubt. Mr C told me about the symptoms of someone with suicidal tendencies, and that i don't exhibit it. Somehow, i think this post is gonna change that perspective? Compare this to
Celexter's blog.
Sigh. I dunno. I'm sick and tired of everything. LOL. I'm getting emo. If i don't have friends, i dunno what can i do. sighhhzzz....
It's been a while since I blogged. I've been thinking of alot of stuff these few days. I guess i'm a neurotic person. Yeah, and i think my friends are getting sick of me anyway amd says that i think too much. I was thinking, whether 2 people of different backgrounds with different hobbies and personalities can be together? To me, it's like they'll get bored with each other pretty soon, since there's nothing in common they can talk about and it'll end up like "What did you do today.. blah blah blah..." Not really interesting stuff to talk about? Especially when my life is like "oh, i spent the entire day playing game..blah.. leveled up how much..."????? I think i'll just like bore the other party to death. However, everyone tells me that it's possible. To share the difference s between each other and to be creative to think of ways to make daily conversations more interesting. Anyway, the more i think of it, the more i feel that i don't match his criteria anymore? I'm not intellectual and stuff, not hunky buff, the only think i can claim is probably tall... -_-" yeah. Kinda sucks right? Oh well, i dunno what's gonna come out of it. Maybe i'll get another friend? Then again, it'll be more like an acquaintance anyway. I don't really make good friends easily. Especially with AJs. Just can't seem to bond together and make it really long term..
I'm feeling terrible. I know i'm not supposed to feel this way. Especially after just meeting him once. But i've kept thinking of him. And somehow i know that the feeling isn't mutual. I just can't stop thinking. Is it because i'm feeling lonely without anything to occupy me? Will I feel the same toward any Tom, Dick or Harry that just happened to be in my life at that time? It isn't the same feeling on Saturday anymore. Whatever happened to 'it's fine if it doesn't work out'? Apparently it isn't fine anymore. Perhaps this is just a release of those pent-up emotions. All those emotions that i've kept to myself, not being able to tell anyone. All i wish for is just a small small gesture, just a sms and i'll be happy. Heh. Not even that. I'm probably just someone that he goes out with, just to while away excess time. Maybe i'm thinking too much, but i'm an emotionally-weak person.
I'm feeling lazy.. Ahahahah.. dunno what to blog on. Anyway, he smsed me just now, telling me that he isn't free on friday, so could we meet on wednesday instead. Of cos i'm fine with anything, since i'm free anyway. He'll confirm the timing with me again. Went out to town just now cos i was so bored at home. Either playing game or stoning. So i decided that i'll start reading. Went to Borders and Kino to browse the books. Actually, I had alrd decided what I wanted to buy, but couldn't find/too lazy to ask for the books. So i went down to HMV to buy that book. So much more convenient, just off the shelf. The book i bought was Collapse: How societies choose to succeed or fail. I guess the title says much about the book, so i won't elaborate more (I haven't really read through it yet =p). Reading more will make me more conversational, witty, knowledgeable, so that people will not get bored with me. LOL. I guess i'm thinking too much ba. I've been eating lots recently, but i'm not able to go jogging tmr cos my calves hurt. I think i might have injured them. sigh. Well, this post might seem disjointed and incoherent cos i'm not in a very thinking mood now. Ahahaha. Cheers!
Yup. Met him last night for a movie. We were supposed to meet at 5, but I reached there earlier so that i won't be late. So i met clarence after his class and went to 'tapow' some Yakun kaya toast. It was rather close to 5 by then, so we hurried down to Somerset. However, he sent an sms to tell me he'll only be coming at 6. What to do? Walked around HMV with clarence to while away the time. 6 came, so i sent clarence to the bus stop and went to meet him. He looked exactly like the person in the pics, so i recognised him immediately. It was kinda awkward at first cos we're just meeting for the first time. We went to 7-11 cos i needed a drink, but he didn't want any so i just bought another Pocari Sweat. 2nd Pocari of the day. Crossed over to HMV, and boy did he take long to browse for cds. I think it's at least 45 mins. I was bored to death. I'm not really interested in music, esp. english pop which occupies the first level. And he kept picking up cds, while browsing through. Seeing him having difficulty to carry 1 huge stack of cds and browsing at the same time so i offered to help him carry the cds (scored pts). After picking that 1 huge stack of cds from me, he looked through them again, and started placing them back. I was like -_- . Well, after browsing cds, he went to browse the books available. (Apparently, HMV does sell books nowadays. Diversifying business?) Finally picked up a book or 2 and went to pay. Whew. After that, we went up to the fifth floor to participate in some kind of draw where he won a bag. All these while we didn't talk much, he was too bz browsing through his cds and i was just trying to make small talk. Well, we took a bus down to Cathay (he wanted to meet at Somerset cos he thought it was Cine) made it just in time for the movie. Hmm. They've got free internet at the ticketing booths upstairs and he went to do internet banking (told me his pc was down). So i went to get a drink only (apparently both of us didn't really like popcorn). Well well, movie started. Was kinda a lame movie, not exactly scary, but it was those sudden-shift-of-focus-onto-a-gory-bloody-corpse kinda scary. Amazingly, he could sit through the movie without flinching. And bloody hell, he kinda tried to pry my hands off my face during the scary scenes -_- . Anyway, before the movie started we agreed to watch 'Over the hedge' next friday. Hah, at least we're meeting again. So i think i still stand some chance. LOL. Actually, after meeting him, i don't feel that he's that perfect anymore, so after the movie it's like, if i get rejected i won't be too sad anyway. However, through the night, i kinda started thinking of him. Although he isn't really that great, strangely he makes me feel comfortable and i kind of feel safe around him. -shrugs- Dunno, ahhahhaha. Let's just see whatever happens from now.
Anyway, I've received comments on the Tag-board function missing from my blog. I would like to clarify that i find Tag-board useless and difficult to maintain, since I like to MIA from my blog for a long period of time. (I've gone through 2 tag-boards, they expire after 30 days of non-posting.) However, there's a comment function after each post, so if you would like to comment on some things, you can always click on the comment link and leave me some comments. Leave your email so that I can get back to you if you've any queries. ^^
I wanted to blog something but i've forgotten most of the things i wanna blog about already. Heh. That's one of my bad points. I forget about stuff easily. Well, i've a general idea of what i wanna blog, but it may not be coherent.
Firstly, it's about THAT infatuation. Yes, that infatuation. I guess it's only an infatuation since i've not met him and i don't know what's he's like in real. On paper everything just looks perfect. In real, he might be a jerk. Well, though i may not be that great, i do think that i deserve at least someone good. So i'm gonna get over it, leave it just as that, and let nature run it's course. I'm not expecting much tmr anyway, only pain and sorrow i guess. Then i'll stand up again and work harder on getting my dream bod(hopefully). Yeah, i'm giving myself a 3 year timeline to achieve that, and until then, i'm gonna remove all my pics from my profiles.
Secondly, what type of guys i like. Hmm.. Of course looks does matter. Everybody is superficial. And that's why i'm working hard now. I've regretted not starting early, i'm losing another 3 years of youth. LOL. Ok, next! I want that type of feeling, where you get swept off your feet. Where you lose total control of yourself; emotions, imagination all running wild. Where action taken by the other party sends you to heaven/hell. Yes, that's the feeling I want. It should all start from there, and of course we should work together to make the entire thing work for the long run as well. ^^
Well, that's a very long post that I've just made. And i'm still thinking of you.
Woohoo! ORD lo =p ahahahha... yeah.. and the first thing i went to do after leaving office is to go meet my friend to go cut/dye my hair. Hehe.. I think it's a nice colour, ash brown. Even my nanny said it was nice after i got home. Yup. Hmm.. Tmr can't meet that dude. So sad right.. He can't make it in the afternoon, while i had dinner at night. So ya.. But we're meeting on Sat afternoon. Hah. Anyway, I think i'm going overboard with my emotions. Just kinda fell into depression when there was no reply. I'm such a sucker. Bleah! Anyway, i'm alright now (he smsed) and i'm going for some kind of friend's outing now. Cya!
Haha.. Finally found a video that i think it's worth putting up. Updated the blog template a bit. Been very lazy to blog.. Haha.. Lazy to do up the template too. Haha. Yeah. Feeling very sick nowadays. Dunno why. Just don't feel like eating. Wonder what's wrong with me. Ahaha.. Yesterday morning i got a sms, and boy was i shocked! ahahha. It was from that dude i was crazy over. Almost a week. Before i got a msg from him. Well.. Then another surprise! He logged onto MSN. Wow. Amazing huh. Then again, i've a feeling that he's not being truthful in whatever he said. -Shrugs- Maybe some dudes just ain't comfortable with telling the truth to a stranger. Well, he kinda seemed bz, replies came like 5-10mins after i asked him stuff.. Ah well. Then after he logged off (i didn't bother), he smsed me asking me whether was I free on Fri. Argh. I dunno to be happy or to be nonchalant. LOL. I don't wanna go thru another emotional upheaval. ahahha. Guess i'll go, and not get my hopes up. Was bored, so went to look up
Haado Gei on Youtube, it was absolutely hilarious. Ahahaha.. highly recommended stuff for depressed/emo kids to watch.
Ahahahah... it's been quite long since I've posted. Well, i'm lazy. what to do? ahahaha.. Going ice-skating later. Hope i won't slip and fall, it's been like 3-4 years since i last skated? Hmmm... Nowadays feeling very lethargic, ever since i've started being active. Food intake has cut drastically too. Just didn't have the appetite to eat. Sigh. I think i'm gonna fall sick! Aww..
Wooh.. Tiring. Just finished another jog/walk. Ahahahha.. Now my legs are aching like mad. Could have jogged more but my calves just couldn't take it. Dunno if I have the wrong technique to jog or what.. ahhahh. Well.. hopefully the next time i can jog more than today. Went out for dinner with Simon, Alvin, Raine, Seabass, Jamal, Ray and Jerjer last night. Was supposed to meet them at Tampines by 7 but I left the house late (was trying to get my water totem, but still left it hanging) so I kinda panicked. Ended up Ray was later than me.. hahhha. We went to the Fishermen's Village to eat. Dunno whether it's cheap or not, but the food was rather ok. Average, nothing fantastic to rave about. I liked their fried beehoon and fried
dongfen though. Quite tasty. Raine was just hilarious. Was doing all those funny antics in public. Heh.. What really tickled me was the phone conversation with Shiva (Edwin). ahahahaha... It was really funny.
Well, it has been a while since I've posted. ahahaha. I post only when i'm down in the dumps ya? Yesterday has been a terrible day for me. I'm just went utterly crazy. I actually got depressed while viewing someone's profile (actually, i fell in love with him, or rather his profile but he didn't reply my sms), so ya? Insanity, isn't it? hahha. Well.. i'm picking myself up from the doldrums. And actually got down to start exercising. Couldn't sleep last night, so ended up going for a jog. Well... i couldn't sustain a jog that much, so ended up walking for most of the distance around my estate. BUT but but, i'm sure i could jog for a longer distance soon, if i could keep training. We've gotta start somewhere ya? I'm hoping to graduate as the hottest guy from SIM in 3 years time.. Ahahahaha.. wishful thinking, but hey! that's an aim in my life. Hope I could keep up the exercise craze for 3 years, >.<" considering that i'm a 3min-interest guy.
I think every tuesday night is depression night? LOL. Must be the effect of WOW server maintenance. Then again, it gives me time to start thinking about stuff. Too much time infact. I don't wanna think about stuff cos it makes me sad.
Tmr will be a week since we last met. Well, we're not gonna meet this week i guess. Unless he drops a surprise for me. And no smses either. Bleah. I dunno what's he thinking about. We need to talk more. Lol. Sometimes i feel as if i'm being taken for a ride. Anyway, just sent him an sms. Didn't want to in the first place. I feel so indignant that he doesn't bother to sms me. :( Anyway, i was talking to my friend, and he said that why bother with anything since everything's pre-destined. Then i said that fate is up to us to change. And i'm sure if we take control of out lives things can change.
Oh.. It's been a long time since i've posted and my friends were commenting that i only blog when i'm feeling down/depressed. Yeah.. Something great happened. I finally picked up the courage and asked him whether he likes me.
We were meeting for a movie last wednesday but, i was feeling depressed over the mixed signals (i thought) he gave me over the past week. On tuesday night, i was really feeling terrible since we're gonna meet the next day. (I've bought the tickets nevertheless.) So i blogged all that shit in the post below. Then on wednesday morning, i felt so bad until i even thought of skipping that movie (by cooking up some excuse) and played WOW the whole day. I was feeling emo, and i spammed that in my guild channel that i need some emotional support. Then this nice guy from Australia, he came and comforted me. (He thought i was female cos i played a female toon.) He started telling me about his story and stuff, and gave me advice and emotional support the entire afternoon. Then I received a sms from him telling me that he could meet me earlier, like at 5. However, I was deep in game and feeling quite upset about the whole issue so i kinda ignored it until the last moment and said 5.30. Exchanged a few smses in a very short and cold way. (Anyone who gets my smses should know that i type a whole lot of crap in it, so you can imagine how my cold and short smses would be like.) Anyway, we met and walked around, had dinner and the movie. After the movie, it was kinda late so he had to go so we walked to the bus stop. All the while i was considering to ask him the question.. So i finally picked up the courage (and beating around the bush) to ask him whether he liked me.. And he said yes, after that i think we got shy then we switched topic to some dancer in the youth park which was male but we thought he was a she while crossing the road. After he got on the bus, he sent me a sms, the very first sms he sent to me out of his own volition.
Then again, after that sms, I never received another sms out of his own free will again. Of cos i don't expect everyone to be like
colin and kero, but i don't even feel that he cares about me.. Oh well, we can't have our pie and eat it, can we? We gotta learn that everyone is different and has different needs and behaviours. I just gotta adapt. Probably we could talk more about our expectations when we meet again. This is just to let off steam and rant. He probably doesn't know about this blog (hopefully not) cos i dun want him to know i'm a very emo person. He might get frightened off. =p
Ahh... It's been 1 and a half weeks. Tmr will be the 3rd time in 1 and a half weeks if we meet. Bought tickets for the 'Da Vinci Code' just now for tmr at 7.55pm Cineleisure. Dunno whether he will come or not. Heh. No reply yet. Oh well, probably i'll just trash the tix or get someone else to go with me i guess. Suddenly i feel depressed. I need some company. Someone i can talk to, someone i feel comfortable with. Definitely not my mom. She's sitting behind me mugging for some history exam now. I feel so uncomfortable with her around. Not that i'm afraid of her finding out i'm gay but how will her reaction will be. Sad, disappointed, hysterical? I dunno. Therefore i feel so restricted around her (and any family members around for that matter). I think i'll be suicidal come july. All my close friends are leaving for overseas. I've no one else around for me anymore. Who will i look for to talk to when i'm depressed? Even if they can't help, at least someone's there to console me, drink with me, accompany me. Who's gonna take over? I absolutely detest the scene now. I hate them. Sigh. Sometimes i hate myself too. Why am i even gay!!?? LOL. Someone up there's playing a trick on us, i swear. There's so much hate in me now, so much doubt. Mr C told me about the symptoms of someone with suicidal tendencies, and that i don't exhibit it. Somehow, i think this post is gonna change that perspective? Compare this to
Celexter's blog.
Sigh. I dunno. I'm sick and tired of everything. LOL. I'm getting emo. If i don't have friends, i dunno what can i do. sighhhzzz....
It's been a while since I blogged. I've been thinking of alot of stuff these few days. I guess i'm a neurotic person. Yeah, and i think my friends are getting sick of me anyway amd says that i think too much. I was thinking, whether 2 people of different backgrounds with different hobbies and personalities can be together? To me, it's like they'll get bored with each other pretty soon, since there's nothing in common they can talk about and it'll end up like "What did you do today.. blah blah blah..." Not really interesting stuff to talk about? Especially when my life is like "oh, i spent the entire day playing game..blah.. leveled up how much..."????? I think i'll just like bore the other party to death. However, everyone tells me that it's possible. To share the difference s between each other and to be creative to think of ways to make daily conversations more interesting. Anyway, the more i think of it, the more i feel that i don't match his criteria anymore? I'm not intellectual and stuff, not hunky buff, the only think i can claim is probably tall... -_-" yeah. Kinda sucks right? Oh well, i dunno what's gonna come out of it. Maybe i'll get another friend? Then again, it'll be more like an acquaintance anyway. I don't really make good friends easily. Especially with AJs. Just can't seem to bond together and make it really long term..
I'm feeling terrible. I know i'm not supposed to feel this way. Especially after just meeting him once. But i've kept thinking of him. And somehow i know that the feeling isn't mutual. I just can't stop thinking. Is it because i'm feeling lonely without anything to occupy me? Will I feel the same toward any Tom, Dick or Harry that just happened to be in my life at that time? It isn't the same feeling on Saturday anymore. Whatever happened to 'it's fine if it doesn't work out'? Apparently it isn't fine anymore. Perhaps this is just a release of those pent-up emotions. All those emotions that i've kept to myself, not being able to tell anyone. All i wish for is just a small small gesture, just a sms and i'll be happy. Heh. Not even that. I'm probably just someone that he goes out with, just to while away excess time. Maybe i'm thinking too much, but i'm an emotionally-weak person.
I'm feeling lazy.. Ahahahah.. dunno what to blog on. Anyway, he smsed me just now, telling me that he isn't free on friday, so could we meet on wednesday instead. Of cos i'm fine with anything, since i'm free anyway. He'll confirm the timing with me again. Went out to town just now cos i was so bored at home. Either playing game or stoning. So i decided that i'll start reading. Went to Borders and Kino to browse the books. Actually, I had alrd decided what I wanted to buy, but couldn't find/too lazy to ask for the books. So i went down to HMV to buy that book. So much more convenient, just off the shelf. The book i bought was Collapse: How societies choose to succeed or fail. I guess the title says much about the book, so i won't elaborate more (I haven't really read through it yet =p). Reading more will make me more conversational, witty, knowledgeable, so that people will not get bored with me. LOL. I guess i'm thinking too much ba. I've been eating lots recently, but i'm not able to go jogging tmr cos my calves hurt. I think i might have injured them. sigh. Well, this post might seem disjointed and incoherent cos i'm not in a very thinking mood now. Ahahaha. Cheers!
Yup. Met him last night for a movie. We were supposed to meet at 5, but I reached there earlier so that i won't be late. So i met clarence after his class and went to 'tapow' some Yakun kaya toast. It was rather close to 5 by then, so we hurried down to Somerset. However, he sent an sms to tell me he'll only be coming at 6. What to do? Walked around HMV with clarence to while away the time. 6 came, so i sent clarence to the bus stop and went to meet him. He looked exactly like the person in the pics, so i recognised him immediately. It was kinda awkward at first cos we're just meeting for the first time. We went to 7-11 cos i needed a drink, but he didn't want any so i just bought another Pocari Sweat. 2nd Pocari of the day. Crossed over to HMV, and boy did he take long to browse for cds. I think it's at least 45 mins. I was bored to death. I'm not really interested in music, esp. english pop which occupies the first level. And he kept picking up cds, while browsing through. Seeing him having difficulty to carry 1 huge stack of cds and browsing at the same time so i offered to help him carry the cds (scored pts). After picking that 1 huge stack of cds from me, he looked through them again, and started placing them back. I was like -_- . Well, after browsing cds, he went to browse the books available. (Apparently, HMV does sell books nowadays. Diversifying business?) Finally picked up a book or 2 and went to pay. Whew. After that, we went up to the fifth floor to participate in some kind of draw where he won a bag. All these while we didn't talk much, he was too bz browsing through his cds and i was just trying to make small talk. Well, we took a bus down to Cathay (he wanted to meet at Somerset cos he thought it was Cine) made it just in time for the movie. Hmm. They've got free internet at the ticketing booths upstairs and he went to do internet banking (told me his pc was down). So i went to get a drink only (apparently both of us didn't really like popcorn). Well well, movie started. Was kinda a lame movie, not exactly scary, but it was those sudden-shift-of-focus-onto-a-gory-bloody-corpse kinda scary. Amazingly, he could sit through the movie without flinching. And bloody hell, he kinda tried to pry my hands off my face during the scary scenes -_- . Anyway, before the movie started we agreed to watch 'Over the hedge' next friday. Hah, at least we're meeting again. So i think i still stand some chance. LOL. Actually, after meeting him, i don't feel that he's that perfect anymore, so after the movie it's like, if i get rejected i won't be too sad anyway. However, through the night, i kinda started thinking of him. Although he isn't really that great, strangely he makes me feel comfortable and i kind of feel safe around him. -shrugs- Dunno, ahhahhaha. Let's just see whatever happens from now.
Anyway, I've received comments on the Tag-board function missing from my blog. I would like to clarify that i find Tag-board useless and difficult to maintain, since I like to MIA from my blog for a long period of time. (I've gone through 2 tag-boards, they expire after 30 days of non-posting.) However, there's a comment function after each post, so if you would like to comment on some things, you can always click on the comment link and leave me some comments. Leave your email so that I can get back to you if you've any queries. ^^
I wanted to blog something but i've forgotten most of the things i wanna blog about already. Heh. That's one of my bad points. I forget about stuff easily. Well, i've a general idea of what i wanna blog, but it may not be coherent.
Firstly, it's about THAT infatuation. Yes, that infatuation. I guess it's only an infatuation since i've not met him and i don't know what's he's like in real. On paper everything just looks perfect. In real, he might be a jerk. Well, though i may not be that great, i do think that i deserve at least someone good. So i'm gonna get over it, leave it just as that, and let nature run it's course. I'm not expecting much tmr anyway, only pain and sorrow i guess. Then i'll stand up again and work harder on getting my dream bod(hopefully). Yeah, i'm giving myself a 3 year timeline to achieve that, and until then, i'm gonna remove all my pics from my profiles.
Secondly, what type of guys i like. Hmm.. Of course looks does matter. Everybody is superficial. And that's why i'm working hard now. I've regretted not starting early, i'm losing another 3 years of youth. LOL. Ok, next! I want that type of feeling, where you get swept off your feet. Where you lose total control of yourself; emotions, imagination all running wild. Where action taken by the other party sends you to heaven/hell. Yes, that's the feeling I want. It should all start from there, and of course we should work together to make the entire thing work for the long run as well. ^^
Well, that's a very long post that I've just made. And i'm still thinking of you.
Woohoo! ORD lo =p ahahahha... yeah.. and the first thing i went to do after leaving office is to go meet my friend to go cut/dye my hair. Hehe.. I think it's a nice colour, ash brown. Even my nanny said it was nice after i got home. Yup. Hmm.. Tmr can't meet that dude. So sad right.. He can't make it in the afternoon, while i had dinner at night. So ya.. But we're meeting on Sat afternoon. Hah. Anyway, I think i'm going overboard with my emotions. Just kinda fell into depression when there was no reply. I'm such a sucker. Bleah! Anyway, i'm alright now (he smsed) and i'm going for some kind of friend's outing now. Cya!
Haha.. Finally found a video that i think it's worth putting up. Updated the blog template a bit. Been very lazy to blog.. Haha.. Lazy to do up the template too. Haha. Yeah. Feeling very sick nowadays. Dunno why. Just don't feel like eating. Wonder what's wrong with me. Ahaha.. Yesterday morning i got a sms, and boy was i shocked! ahahha. It was from that dude i was crazy over. Almost a week. Before i got a msg from him. Well.. Then another surprise! He logged onto MSN. Wow. Amazing huh. Then again, i've a feeling that he's not being truthful in whatever he said. -Shrugs- Maybe some dudes just ain't comfortable with telling the truth to a stranger. Well, he kinda seemed bz, replies came like 5-10mins after i asked him stuff.. Ah well. Then after he logged off (i didn't bother), he smsed me asking me whether was I free on Fri. Argh. I dunno to be happy or to be nonchalant. LOL. I don't wanna go thru another emotional upheaval. ahahha. Guess i'll go, and not get my hopes up. Was bored, so went to look up
Haado Gei on Youtube, it was absolutely hilarious. Ahahaha.. highly recommended stuff for depressed/emo kids to watch.
Ahahahah... it's been quite long since I've posted. Well, i'm lazy. what to do? ahahaha.. Going ice-skating later. Hope i won't slip and fall, it's been like 3-4 years since i last skated? Hmmm... Nowadays feeling very lethargic, ever since i've started being active. Food intake has cut drastically too. Just didn't have the appetite to eat. Sigh. I think i'm gonna fall sick! Aww..
Wooh.. Tiring. Just finished another jog/walk. Ahahahha.. Now my legs are aching like mad. Could have jogged more but my calves just couldn't take it. Dunno if I have the wrong technique to jog or what.. ahhahh. Well.. hopefully the next time i can jog more than today. Went out for dinner with Simon, Alvin, Raine, Seabass, Jamal, Ray and Jerjer last night. Was supposed to meet them at Tampines by 7 but I left the house late (was trying to get my water totem, but still left it hanging) so I kinda panicked. Ended up Ray was later than me.. hahhha. We went to the Fishermen's Village to eat. Dunno whether it's cheap or not, but the food was rather ok. Average, nothing fantastic to rave about. I liked their fried beehoon and fried
dongfen though. Quite tasty. Raine was just hilarious. Was doing all those funny antics in public. Heh.. What really tickled me was the phone conversation with Shiva (Edwin). ahahahaha... It was really funny.
Well, it has been a while since I've posted. ahahaha. I post only when i'm down in the dumps ya? Yesterday has been a terrible day for me. I'm just went utterly crazy. I actually got depressed while viewing someone's profile (actually, i fell in love with him, or rather his profile but he didn't reply my sms), so ya? Insanity, isn't it? hahha. Well.. i'm picking myself up from the doldrums. And actually got down to start exercising. Couldn't sleep last night, so ended up going for a jog. Well... i couldn't sustain a jog that much, so ended up walking for most of the distance around my estate. BUT but but, i'm sure i could jog for a longer distance soon, if i could keep training. We've gotta start somewhere ya? I'm hoping to graduate as the hottest guy from SIM in 3 years time.. Ahahahaha.. wishful thinking, but hey! that's an aim in my life. Hope I could keep up the exercise craze for 3 years, >.<" considering that i'm a 3min-interest guy.