I bought the rubber keyboard which stills need some adapting to. Bloody hard to type. Just bought it so i can play ffxi on my laptop without the weird key configurations on my lappy. Anyway, went to Powerhouse's Fabulous Flirt last night. Met my first ex there again. Terrible i tell you. Each time i meet him, i tend to sink into depression and reflect on what has my life turned out to be. People continued living, excelling. What about me? Stuck in same old position. People moved on, got good grades got into a local university. And me? Running away with my tail between my legs. i'm such a loser. Going away is just a means for me to leave all this failure behind and not exactly for me to go get a better education. If i could go to a local university, i would never even thought of leaving. Sure i can go SIM, but somehow seeing others doing all so well. I feel horrible. I don't wanna stay here and feel bad for life. I know i can don't feel that, but it's just in me. Sigh, competitive streak in me yet i don't have what it takes to come out tops. Gosh i miss my ex. It was so nice to hold him last night. However, nothing will happen i guess. I'm leaving already. It's too late to change anything now. If 2 months ago there was still something tying me to this damn place i wouldn't have gone. I guess i just have to move on bravely into the new world. I wonder what would happen when i'm in Australia. Would I find anything meaningful enough for me to stay on? Or would i pack up and leave for another place? Would I come back 5 years later and me and him start all over again? You never knew what was precious enough until you lost it.
I guess i should start blogging again, after 2 sources quoted that random writing is good for generating ideas and general conclusions about what happened daily. So i'm gonna write about whatever happened, my thoughts, whatever comes to mind in no logical manner whatsoever. Heck, i don't think i'm gonna even care about spelling, though i've typed the backspace countless times before reaching this word. Talked to alex about being a gay activist, then branched out in politics. Which ultimately is very daunting. How am i gonna fund it, who am i gonna find to join me in my quest to make SG a more livable place where people actually HAVE privacy and not some make-believe privacy. Big brother is watching! I wonder when will SG ever become a 2 party govt. instead of the single party domination. A 2 party system that will ensure nobody gets left behind, where minorities are heard because their votes are needed. A country where nobody fears speaking up. I hate it here, it stifles people. And another thing is gay rights. Right now, it's even taboo to discuss homosexuality. Totally rubbish. And it's exactly this culture that will lead to more HIV infections. I wasn't such a fervent supporter for gay rights, but I totally disagree with govt. policy of restricting information towards 'alternative' lifestyle. Perhaps the govt. is afraid of being seen as encouraging conversion to the alternative lifestyle if it allows the discussion of homosexuality in public forums. However, in this day and age, information is freely available over the internet, people are getting together to experiment. Therefore what the govt. can do is to provide balanced information on homosexuality and disseminate safe sex message via education, to let youths make an informed decision about what they are going to engage/engaging in, in the view of rising no. of youths infected with HIV. Conservative groups should realise that condemnation would actually produce counter-effects to stop homosexuality, because forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest. There is also the issue of gays having the right to a family. As they say, families are the bedrock of society. Families provide the care and support to individuals within it. And so why are gays being denied the right to start a loving stable family themselves with their partners? Marriage is not about just making relations, it has legal implications which protects the couple in the event of a mishap or breakup. Although gay men are promiscuous, much can be said for str8 men too. However, there so many cases of loving relationships between GBLTs. Therefore why should we stop those who want to commit themselves? Next, the issue of criminalizing homosexual sex. This is a law that makes alot of Singaporeans criminals. Need i say more?