Sunday, September 24, 2006
Finished watching 'My Girl' and now I feel so empty. It's like there's nothing else in store for me. I'm getting bored playing games. It feels like I should continue living in my fantasy, there's nothing out there in reality for me. In my fantasy, there's always something to look forward to.
Oh, I went to Aleks' blog 2 days ago. "The boy who still believes in romance".. Well, I don't believe that someone actually still believes in that. It only happens in TV dramas lol. Much as I wanna believe, somehow i feel that i'll be alone for the rest of my life. Doesn't seem to me that anything/anyone exciting is gonna pop into my life. My life is too boring, just going thru the motion of everyday life, going to classes, coming home. Even when I go out it's me alone. I look at my msn list, I don't even talk to most of them. So who could I ask out to accompany me? The few I talk to are either overseas, too busy with school or just doesn't wanna come out. That's sad. It's only me and my ipod. Maybe what my friend said to me is true. Mst people are on different wavelengths from me. I have my own way of thinking and people just can't seem to get through to me. Probably feel that i'm
atas. Oh well.. Back to my fantasy for now.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Just watched a korean drama. The title's 'My Girl' and now i'm having weird fantasies running through my head. As much as the fantasies are entertaining, someho it feels sad that it will NEVER happened to us in real life. And much as i don't wanna watch K-dramas for the same reasons like the fan-girls does(cute guys galore), I really admit that the guys are really suave/cute.
However I feel that korean guys portrayed in the dramas all follow a stereotype, ie. they're all very chauvinistic and bossy. Yet they always have some kind of compassionate and tender quality in them that just makes everyone go "Aww.. so sweet".
Anyway i feel so weird now after watching K-drama. i feel elated for some reason. It somehow gives me hope that my life will take a turn for the better, and there's a fairytale somewhere waiting for me. I know this sounds very wimpy/girlie, but i can't describe it any better. Just hope my fairytale comes true. :) Gonna dream of weird stuff tonight. Saveeeee meeeeeeeeee.......
Monday, September 11, 2006
Just came home from clubbing with my kor and his friends, one of which is my ex. We're on very good terms, but i just feel terrible. I've seen how they've made good with their lives, going on to higher education with their good grades and showing leadership capabilities in NS, just makes me feel totally inferior.
Now i'm just doodling around with my life, lacking a sense of direction. Those undergrads studying in NUS NTU SMU may think it's no big deal of course, that they're going through the same thing as me, but somehow i feel after they graduate they have a better standing than me in social position. That i'm second-grade. I really miss the time when i was in NS. Where i did not have to bother with my life, life just follows a set pattern, but i get to experience different things in office. Everyday was a different experience with different problems cropping out, thinking of how to solve problems together, voice out opinions etc. Everyday was just to be looked forward to. Now that i've finished my NS, everyday's just the same day, school's just boring, no friends to look forward to meeting, lectures happening at a terrible pace, makes my life seem so meaningless.
I seriously need to do something about my life, take it in control. I know the problem i'm facing but I don't know how to go about solving it. Maybe i know the solution, but it's a solution i don't want to face up to. I've been thinking that i'm matured and stuff, i know lots of things, giving advice to people, but thinking in retrospective, I'm actually the most childish person. For christ's sake, I an't even do anything about my life what gives me the right to comment about others'?
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Finished watching 'My Girl' and now I feel so empty. It's like there's nothing else in store for me. I'm getting bored playing games. It feels like I should continue living in my fantasy, there's nothing out there in reality for me. In my fantasy, there's always something to look forward to.
Oh, I went to Aleks' blog 2 days ago. "The boy who still believes in romance".. Well, I don't believe that someone actually still believes in that. It only happens in TV dramas lol. Much as I wanna believe, somehow i feel that i'll be alone for the rest of my life. Doesn't seem to me that anything/anyone exciting is gonna pop into my life. My life is too boring, just going thru the motion of everyday life, going to classes, coming home. Even when I go out it's me alone. I look at my msn list, I don't even talk to most of them. So who could I ask out to accompany me? The few I talk to are either overseas, too busy with school or just doesn't wanna come out. That's sad. It's only me and my ipod. Maybe what my friend said to me is true. Mst people are on different wavelengths from me. I have my own way of thinking and people just can't seem to get through to me. Probably feel that i'm
atas. Oh well.. Back to my fantasy for now.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Just watched a korean drama. The title's 'My Girl' and now i'm having weird fantasies running through my head. As much as the fantasies are entertaining, someho it feels sad that it will NEVER happened to us in real life. And much as i don't wanna watch K-dramas for the same reasons like the fan-girls does(cute guys galore), I really admit that the guys are really suave/cute.
However I feel that korean guys portrayed in the dramas all follow a stereotype, ie. they're all very chauvinistic and bossy. Yet they always have some kind of compassionate and tender quality in them that just makes everyone go "Aww.. so sweet".
Anyway i feel so weird now after watching K-drama. i feel elated for some reason. It somehow gives me hope that my life will take a turn for the better, and there's a fairytale somewhere waiting for me. I know this sounds very wimpy/girlie, but i can't describe it any better. Just hope my fairytale comes true. :) Gonna dream of weird stuff tonight. Saveeeee meeeeeeeeee.......
Monday, September 11, 2006
Just came home from clubbing with my kor and his friends, one of which is my ex. We're on very good terms, but i just feel terrible. I've seen how they've made good with their lives, going on to higher education with their good grades and showing leadership capabilities in NS, just makes me feel totally inferior.
Now i'm just doodling around with my life, lacking a sense of direction. Those undergrads studying in NUS NTU SMU may think it's no big deal of course, that they're going through the same thing as me, but somehow i feel after they graduate they have a better standing than me in social position. That i'm second-grade. I really miss the time when i was in NS. Where i did not have to bother with my life, life just follows a set pattern, but i get to experience different things in office. Everyday was a different experience with different problems cropping out, thinking of how to solve problems together, voice out opinions etc. Everyday was just to be looked forward to. Now that i've finished my NS, everyday's just the same day, school's just boring, no friends to look forward to meeting, lectures happening at a terrible pace, makes my life seem so meaningless.
I seriously need to do something about my life, take it in control. I know the problem i'm facing but I don't know how to go about solving it. Maybe i know the solution, but it's a solution i don't want to face up to. I've been thinking that i'm matured and stuff, i know lots of things, giving advice to people, but thinking in retrospective, I'm actually the most childish person. For christ's sake, I an't even do anything about my life what gives me the right to comment about others'?