iLLuMiNa - Be a good boy.

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iLLuMiNa

2007

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Sunday, August 20, 2006

I keep going back to the things i need to walk away from. Sigh, after that rejection, i met up with him again. Watched a movie, and actually held hands in the theatre. (More intimate stuff happened over the few hrs together but i'm lazy to write them all out.) Anyway, i thought i had a chance again. But I dunno. He seemed like he likes me, yet he doesn't say anything. I really don't know if i'm just convenient or what. I get on my nerves sometimes. But i really enjoy being with him. So caring and stuff. Haiz. I need to get away. Maybe my moving will do me good. New start at a new place. Hopefully i don't come back to this again.

4:27 AM

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Sunday, August 06, 2006

I guess tonight will be the last time i'm clubbing in AJ clubs for a while. I'm not really a clubby person since i don't drink or dance. The reason i go to AJ clubs is for exposure, hoping someone will take notice of me and yada yada yada. Oh well, i guess that's not the way to do things. I feel so out of place since i'm not dancing, and i won't be dancing since i'm not high from alcohol. I don't feel safe enough to get high/drunk there. Dangerous place lol.
Sometimes i wish that i have a companion. Someone who provides TLC, someone i can relate to.. But it's so difficult and so distant. I doubt i'll have the good luck to meet one. Even if i meet one, prolly isn't gonna be with me. Heh.

7:23 AM

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