Just came home from clubbing with my kor and his friends, one of which is my ex. We're on very good terms, but i just feel terrible. I've seen how they've made good with their lives, going on to higher education with their good grades and showing leadership capabilities in NS, just makes me feel totally inferior.
Now i'm just doodling around with my life, lacking a sense of direction. Those undergrads studying in NUS NTU SMU may think it's no big deal of course, that they're going through the same thing as me, but somehow i feel after they graduate they have a better standing than me in social position. That i'm second-grade. I really miss the time when i was in NS. Where i did not have to bother with my life, life just follows a set pattern, but i get to experience different things in office. Everyday was a different experience with different problems cropping out, thinking of how to solve problems together, voice out opinions etc. Everyday was just to be looked forward to. Now that i've finished my NS, everyday's just the same day, school's just boring, no friends to look forward to meeting, lectures happening at a terrible pace, makes my life seem so meaningless.
I seriously need to do something about my life, take it in control. I know the problem i'm facing but I don't know how to go about solving it. Maybe i know the solution, but it's a solution i don't want to face up to. I've been thinking that i'm matured and stuff, i know lots of things, giving advice to people, but thinking in retrospective, I'm actually the most childish person. For christ's sake, I an't even do anything about my life what gives me the right to comment about others'?