iLLuMiNa - Be a good boy.

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iLLuMiNa

2007

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Boy meets boy. Told me he was messed up and needs to sort himself out. Rejected. Is it real? or more likely, an excuse? I've been told to wait, but i've a feeling i'd be waiting for nothing. Nevertheless, i'll be waiting. It's only 2 more months and i'd be back in Melbourne. It has never gonna be possible anyway. Who am i kidding? Myself? To expect someone to wait 8 months for me? I must be joking right..? I can't fathom why am i even contemplating it. It's ridiculous. Furthermore we are so different. Totally different. Different background different aims. I am going on a wild dragon chase. Heartbreak. Gonna start preparing myself for the inevitable misery. Coming soon.

7:00 AM

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Monday, December 15, 2008

Back from Fab Sun. Haha. Got to know Clarence's friends better. I hope. Well not really better better but just hung out more. Danced together. Talked more. Though nothing of importance. I think i might come across as unable to hold a conversation. I dunno. My sentences are pretty broken lol.

I. Need. Some. Intimacy.

It's been so long. I wanna feel wanted. Desirable. Though I'm not one who doesn't know my limits. Both upper and lower. I need someone to 'Touch my pareh'. Dying need for it. I don't really care for any long term or short term. Come what may. But i just don't like the idea of hooking up in some spa. Eew. Well though I keep saying I wanna go, but it's just a joke. A JOKE YOU READ!? Went once and felt totally weirded out about myself after. Just felt...unclean. Ack. That's me. Fussy. Ignore me.

7:41 AM

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